When you're gone...

i'm listening to this song by avril levighn now. it's called 'when you're gone'. i've never been a fan of hers, but this song is so apt to what has been going through my mind nowadays.

nope i'm not experiencing the pain of my loved ones leaving me. my loved ones are all healthy and still in my life. thank God.

rather it's my friend's friend who has passed away due to brain cancer and the death of a freshman's father. i met the freshman through Alpha.

i cannot imagine their pain, nor do i wish to do so. though i know it's inevitable that i'll have to deal with the deaths of some of my loved ones one way or another in the future, i'll prefer to believe that they'll always be with me.

one thing that struck me about death is the suddenness of it, like a slap on the face. i think that's the worst thing about death, other than the heartache it brings. you didn't expect it to come so soon. that's what make some deaths so cruel.

my uncle works as a doctor. and he hardly ever loses his cool at things that most people would get flustered about or flare up at. for example, he hardly ever scolds his children when they throw tantrums.

my mum says that it is because he has looked at enough sufferings and deaths of his patients and their loved ones to understand that there are things more important that are worth losing his cool over.

i wanna learn that, to focus my energy and time on things that really matter. but i also believe that it requires time, effort and help to truly achieve that state.